Metaphorical Masquerades

Well, a friend and I were talking about masquerades and being a big fan of the Phantom of the Opera she got off on the metaphors for masquerades in stories, books, films, tv shows and anywhere else they sometimes can make an appearance.

I was thinking about it, and it’s interesting concept that most use masquerades as a metaphor of hidden danger, secret identity, and mystery.

It’s a way to let yourself go, so to speak, to become something else that your not. Of course it an be noted that a similar effect of this same type of metaphor is placed on the Halloween holiday as well.

I’m a firm believer that it’s that mystery, the uncertainty and that almost powerful edge you feel during a masquerade (or Halloween party for that matter) that draws people in.

It’s that idea that you can be, and do almost anything you want in those few hours of the party or ball, and it’s likely nobody will ever know. (That is unless of course you have Sherlock Holmes on your trail, but I’ll leave that for another post.)

One aspect of the masquerade that I’ve always been personally drawn too is the masks. Their always so elegant and visual, with so much detail that it’s not wonder you rarely notice whose behind the mask. With such precision and handiwork taken to create those stunning creations, it just adds to the mystery.

I also want to take note on what the word means: (Although, it has many, many meanings it would appear.)





  1. A costume party at which masks are worn; a masked ball. Also called masque.
  2. A costume for such a party or ball.


  1. a.A disguise or false outward show; a pretense: a masquerade of humility.
  2. An involved scheme; a charade.

intr.v., mas.quer.ades

  1. To wear a mask or disguise, as at a masquerade: She masqueraded as a shepherd.
  2. To go about as if in disguise; have or put on a deceptive appearance: The stowaway masqueraded as a crew member.

[French: mascarade, from Italian mascarata, variant of mascherata from Old Italian, maschera, mask; see mask.]

 mas’quer’ad’er n.

It’s interesting to me, how one word (and this is with almost every word as well) can have one meaning that is usually most associated with it.

Much like with masquerade, it’s normally more associated with being deceived, deception, and things not appearing as they should and/or would seem.

Which goes back of course, to the original reason for this posting. The metaphorical side of the word masquerade, and the reasoning behind it being due to the mystery and the hidden agendas that could be and/or carried out at the masquerade party.

It does make one wonder, if this is the reasoning why most would give sentences such as:

“The criminal’s masquerade was over, he wasn’t actually Mr. Bronx, the CEO of a respectable company. He is actually Mr. Sherwin, a con artist and known petty thief.”

In regards to the word ‘masquerade’? I think so, because most of the time, at least fifty percent of the time a masquerade is shown (at least in my experience that is,) something is about to go down that will blow the story, film, book, show or whatever other media is may be in, wide opened.

I suppose though, that’s just the beauty of such a multi-dimensional word and one that can mean something as graceful as an elegant party and also double as deception and treachery.

Another metaphor to be noted, and that could be used is how sometimes treachery and deception can be beautiful and deadly; before the truth comes out. Just like a masquerade can be elegant and a thing of beauty, but also hold that same deception and treachery behind it’s costumes and masks.

It is certainly a topic to get the creative mind working. 🙂

And now,

Until next time, my readers!



4:58 AM – What Am I doing?

So. It’s 4:58 am here on the East Coast.

I just spent the last hour (or two) watching the show Castle with my brother and a friend of his. It was pretty fun, although I should’ve been asleep hours ago knowing I have to get up for class tomorrow — but I can’t seem to sleep.

There’s been this uneasy feeling lately. A feeling I can’t quite understand, but somehow do at the same time. It’s left me feeling — almost numb, almost like an intense feeling of deja vu.

This feeling tells me something isn’t right, but yet I can’t pinpoint why or how, and it just seems that every day rolls together synchronizing as one.

I’m supposed to be writing, working on class work, editing, drawing, painting, anything to take my mind off this, but the truth is I somehow can’t.

I wrote a piece today, for daily themes called ‘Cemetery Wishes’ it’s in all sense of the word terrible, but I kind of like it anyways. I had no idea where I was going with the idea so the words didn’t flow as great as some of my previous works, and it’s starting to make me wonder… have I somehow lost my ability to write?

I’m not sure if every writer goes through this, but it just seems I can’t do it.

Sure, I set down I open projects I’m working on, I do a little editing and then I write but afterwards it just doesn’t seem well — right.

It seems like blocks of text thrown together. Black words against the white background blinking at me, telling me, “No, this is wrong, this isn’t how it goes.”

But then, how does it go? If the words aren’t coming right, how their supposed to to the story then what am I to do?

Is it this strange feeling that something, somewhere is severely wrong that’s causing this anomaly?

Is it because I’m confused and have no way of knowing what is happening?

I feel like I’m slowly spiraling out of control of my emotions, however, I just grin and bear it. I hide behind the guise that everything’s fine, yes everything is great. Oh yeah, class was wonderful.

But it’s really not. Nothing is really wonderful.

I had a birthday on the 9th. A big 21. And while I don’t feel different — not age wise I do somehow feel, well, different.

Like a part of me is missing. But what is that part?

My birthday was fun, it wasn’t completely wonderful but fun. It wasn’t filled with gifts, I actually didn’t get any material gifts at all, only the gift of laughter and ice cream sundaes which, is satisfying enough for me.

At least, that was until I realized that someone whom I’ve gotten close to lately has seemed to have vanished, and disappeared from my life with no word or explanation as to why…

Could this be the source of that weird feeling? I might never know. Although, it certainly seems like I won’t ever know, and I think that’s probably what has my emotions out of sync with everything else.

It’s almost like they’ve shut down. I like can’t feel, or I’m not sure what to feel after being abandoned many times before that… well. It’s confusing that’s for sure.

Ah. Well, it’s after 5 now. The sun will be coming up soon, and my mom has to go to work in a little over a few hours. I have to get up for class then too.

Wish me luck fellow readers, and sorry for such a confusing ramble induced post.

Until next time,


Lost Dreaming

The other evening the fog had rolled in. It was so thick the street lights looked like pinpoints of light from a dim flashlight. It was a beautiful sight and I wish I had gotten some photos of it. That evening when I finally went to sleep after a very late night working on editing I had a dream that seemed embedded in mind of the fog.

It was an interesting dream — which is why I’m recounting it here.

It started out as most of my dreams do. In a dark ambient type atmosphere, it was night — or at least dusk, and the fog was all around. I was on this long twisting road, with two people I didn’t recognize but I assume they must’ve been somehow, the book characters from my novel. They surely looked like them, but they didn’t speak — not a single word.

So as I looked around the fog bank — I realized the road we were on was a road that lead to the house I lived at when I was a child. It was strange because there were no cars, no sounds, nothing but the fog. So, I turned and began to walk the road — the two other people following me. As I walked the road though, I soon realized I was carrying a lantern, that seemed to be powered by some strange golden light, it was to keep ‘those in the fog’ away from us. I was told this by the one person I was with, that looked strikingly how I imagined the character in my novel named Serenity. I only nodded — holding the lantern out in front of me to keep part the fog as we walked.

The atmosphere was strangely tranquil. It was strangely silent, and while creepy — it was also somehow calm and peaceful. It was very strange. As we walked however, we soon got to a place I recognized as the small gas station on a flat stretch of the mountain road. But nobody was around — there were no cars and no life anywhere. At this point it began to take on a very Silent Hill like feeling. Not creepy however, but that feeling of being alone — with an ominous feeling around us in the fog.

We began to walk again, but soon stopped a ways up the road — and I noticed the landscape around wasn’t black and silhouetted like most landscapes in the fog. The colors of the trees and the world around was dark blue and indigo. I squinted in the fog however as I turned from our destination. I then saw that coming from the fog was my mom and sister, and they seemed to be running from something. “Those in the fog,” they said, pointing behind them. I told them that the lantern would help keep them away from us, whoever they were.

I looked beyond them — but saw nothing in the fog but the swirls of gray and white. Everything was white as it came around us thick in sheets of light gray, almost like smoke. I turned to ask them something, when a sound almost like nails on a chalkboard came through the air. I saw in the fog — something large and gray, the same color as the fog standing a ways away from us. I held the lantern out as my sister yelled, “Those in the fog!” and then I woke up.

It was a very strange dream. I’ve been thinking on what it may mean — but so far haven’t had much luck with an interpretation. But I’ve never been very good at those anyways. The one dream that I had the same night has me worried about the laptop we’re renting dying and not coming on. Anytime I’ve had a dream about an electronic deciding not to work it’s come true. I honestly hope that this one doesn’t come true this time. It would truly be a nightmare, rather than a dream.

Anyways, I just thought about sharing it. If anyone has any ideas or interpretations on what dreams mean or fog in dreams let me know in the comments. 🙂

Oh, and happy Friday the 13th! 🙂

Until the next post,


Cherry Blossom Dreaming

So, as I look out the window at the whitened landscape of snow. Trying my best not to get snow blind (heh). I decided as a homage to the coming spring (we all know it’ll get around the seasonal corner sometime!) that I’d post my profile photo here, of the lovely cherry tree where I used to live. 🙂


Very bright and springy for sure. 🙂 I miss the tree, and I’m glad I have photos for me to remember it by. I’ll post more of them as I can. Here’s to hoping for spring, and may everyone’s day be bright and sunny! Even if there’s snow on the ground like where I am. (Just try not to get snow blind.)


Enjoy! 🙂 If you like leave a comment, to tell me what you think! I love comments. 😀

Back – With some Music! :)

So, with all the crazy cold weather and other crazy stuff I’m back for the moment after a terrible cold. I don’t have a lot to post right now still recovering but since I couldn’t sleep thought why not post something cool for anyone reading out there? So here we go. I stumbled upon this interesting album of music tonight while trying to find some tunes to help with writing my novel. (It’s almost done!) 🙂 Check it out! I thought it was pretty cool, how could there be almost no comments anywhere? I don’t get it. But anyways, enjoy! 🙂

The Oak Tree

So I found some pictures I had taken where I used to live that I’ve decided are too good to just keep to myself. 🙂

The Oak Tree
The Oak Tree

This tree was probably thirty-five feet from our house, where we used to live. It was beautiful and I loved it. A quiet small serene place that made for reading, writing, or drawing. And looking up at this tree while setting at the base — gave you an amazing feeling of being one with nature.

I have more photos like this — of nature and places of quiet serenity where we used to live that I have just found on my camera card. I’m hoping to upload more in the days to come. 🙂

Enjoy and…

Until next time,


The New Year — Goals and Wishes, Dreams and Ambitions

With 2015 just around the corner, I’ve been thinking about something that I’m thinking about trying this year.

In many cultures and even if you aren’t superstitious — I believe that if you have ambitions and a clear mind set of where and what you want in life, that writing them down where you can review them everyday or even every week depending on how busy life can get — it better grounds you too those goals you’ve set.

Of course, you can write down small goals to start with — and go from small to the larger goals of your list. Starting with something as small as ‘I’m going to give myself praise everyday in the new year to keep my self-esteem up’ to something larger like ‘saving to buy a car’ or even a house.

Or you can just mix them altogether — a small goal here a larger one next and mix and match so you will always know what your short term goals are and your long time ones are.

My mom suggested that since we’ve had a long ration of bad luck — that we’re hoping to beat in the New Year that it would be a good beginning to try. We’ve started anew, and what better way to show that then with a New Year?

I got a journal for Christmas. And since I didn’t completely get what I asked for, I plan to write that down on my goal list.

Getting a desktop computer. It’s my top goal, because without that — I can’t finish school, finish my novel, or finish anything else that I’d add to my goal list.

Another goal of mine would be being able to get my laptop fixed — under some unfortunate circumstances it has stopped working and my repair guy said if he finds the part it’ll be plenty fixable — the only problem? The model and make is rare and the part is nearly impossible to find.

I have a loaner laptop, that was used when I got it and while it works like a charm — I’m worried that with the ration of bad luck I’ve had something will happen. So another goal of mine is to take extra care of it. Wish me luck on that, maybe now without destructive family living with us — things will work out for the better. I pray everyday that it will get better.

My two major goals of the year, however, is getting my school work all caught up — and hopefully graduating with my diploma so I can move onto what I really want to do. Cinemaphotography and everything that comes along with it.

I’ve written a wonderful script and screenplay with a dear friend of mine — based off the game Alice Madness Returns. Just for fun of course, I never planned to publish it, and me and him are the only two who have ever read it. But it was just the feeling of accomplishment that made me feel — wonderful, the same feeling I get whenever I complete a chapter of my novel.

However, that screenplay — if currently on my laptop that has to be repaired. My novel on the other hand, I have backed up and — it is on it’s way to completion. My goal with it is to get it finished, edited, revised and published. (Note: I’m going to try to post up a synopsis of it soon, but the truth is I suck at synopsis’s so bear with me.)

My goal with that is maybe enough people out there will love it enough that I can write more. One of my true passions since I was a child has been writing and story telling. Getting everything in order to get a piece of my works out there — I pray to be a amazing (albeit crazy, I know) experience.

I know that there are numerous other goals, wishes, dreams, and accomplishments I plan to write down in my journal entry. And then again on a piece of paper — so I can burn it, one strip and goal at a time (after cut into strips of paper with scissors of course) so I can let the wind take the ashes away. Maybe the higher ups will see my wishes and goals and grant even just a few? It’s good wishful thinking, and I am going to do my absolute best to stay confident this coming year.

To all out there going through the trials of life and the troubles of staying afloat. Well-wished luck too you, one and all. Let’s try to make 2015 much better than 2014 — starting with ourselves and working our around to others in this wide world that we all call home.

Until next time,

And good luck,


Merry Christmas Eve!

It’s finally here! Christmas Eve!

I hope everyone so far is having a good one. It might not be white with snow where I am but it sure is windy.

For those that are having a white Christmas be safe and merry! May you get all that you want for this joyous holiday and may it be merry, bright and unique to you.

I ate too much and will likely eat twice as much tomorrow but I’ll be with my small family, and while we don’t always get along it’ll still be a holiday I won’t forget.

Let’s make it a good one despite all the bad happening in the world and happening everyday. Let’s set it all aside and wish everyone a happy holiday.

Be safe everyone!

Until next time,


Christmas is Almost Here

With the holiday barely a day a away and not being sure what may happen, here’s an early Merry (and Happy) Christmas to all. I hope that things will begin to look up — as I feel a change might be in the air with the coming new year.

I’m really praying and keeping fingers crossed it’s a positive change and a change for the better. I know I’m not the only one out there with this same wish.

Writing has been slightly bogged down the last few days — with the holiday rush and craziness I’ve not been able to focus, but I’m hoping that might change once things calm down — however then after the holidays I’ll face a new set of challenges in trying to keep up on payments on my laptop (wish me luck, readers!) I’m so close to achieving a life-long dream that is finally making it into reality, that I pray every day that I’ll be able to continue using the tools for accomplishment.

I know to some that might sound strange or spoiled — but that isn’t my intention. Being that the laptop (and my camera) will soon be the only possessions I have — it’s very dear and important to me, and as a writer and aspiring filmmaker, it is part of what I’ll do my very best to cling too and fight for.

Finding complete and true passion in the world is hard nowadays I’ve found. Sadness and anger is around every corner and fighting to make ends meet. Everyone is trying to stay afloat in the vast lake of life, most of us with only a plank of wood to cling onto for dear life.

Some are fortunate enough to have a boat — or even a ship — if you know what I mean. Their fortunate enough to have stability and know that everything will be alright. Someday I know I’ll achieve that, but instead of staying on the fancy boat all by myself with just my family — I hope to welcome others that are floating around on planks trying to stay afloat in the world.

They say you can change the world — that anyone can. Maybe I’m not looking to do that all by myself, but I’ll certainly begin a journey to help and aid others on the same path. Maybe united as one, we can make a difference.

I know I mentioned this in my last post — but I thought it would be worth mentioning again.

Wish me luck, on getting my story written — and maybe on the way to being published. God knows, some out there are probably saying, we don’t need anymore crappy books out there — but you never know, can’t judge a book by it’s cover right?

I hope to find someone that will be willing to take a chance on me. It might be hard at first — but maybe with some determination and perseverance I’ll find my way to the next path on the long journey I hope to partake in.

Here lately I’ve been listening to an amazing composer on YouTube — called BeyondTheBeyond. Some amazing and beautiful music. 🙂

Here’s a link to my favorite of playlists but there are many on the channel to choose from: 

Wish me luck!

Until next time!


P.S. I hope to post maybe a snippet or character study for my novel — and a synopsis. If anyone is out there reading, and sees it when I get them posted (I hope!) please give me feedback! It would be so much appreciated. 🙂

Time For Change

So. Things might actually start be looking up. At least, I hope so. Hard times are still a thing of the present (my laptop is very much out of commission with no idea when it might be fixed) but I hope that may end soon. In regards to my laptop being — unusable at the moment, I’m borrowing a computer, however it has to be returned after the New Year. Alas though, I am currently (with the help of my mom) paying off a rental laptop that — with well wished good luck — stay running, since it is used.

The last post was from August, and with it being December that seems like such a long time ago with all that has changed. And suddenly it had — things went from bad, to worse, to now slightly better.

I faced some depression, and hopeless feelings. There was anger and angst and all sorts of confusing conflicting emotions — that I’ve only now begun to face and study head on. As I had stated in the last post, we were betrayed by very close family, but that is now a thing of the past — and I’m starting a new journey of letting it go and beginning a new chapter.

Thanks to the persistent work of a beloved neighbor and friend of where we used to live — we have found ourselves (and by we I do mean: my mom, my three siblings and myself) a small apartment that we can call our own away from the chaos of what used to be.

It’s not perfect by any means — but it is home and it is ours, until we get on our feet and we can move onto bigger things.

I can finally focus — for the most part — on writing and I am happy to say, my novel is turning out beautifully and I am almost completed it! Every time I finish a chapter I feel a little jittery in the most happy way I could feel it — and excited. I can’t begin to explain how it makes me feel but summing it up into one word it would be wonderful.

My mom finally found a part time job — and while it isn’t much, it is helping a lot more than what was had before. Things are not perfect, or even great by any means — but we are getting by.

I’ve done a lot of soul searching lately, and a lot of thinking — some tragic things happened with the (semi) death of my laptop. Luckily most of my files were backed up but when it stopped working — I had this feeling of doom and dread and those feelings still try to cloud my mind. There’s always that thought that something could happen — and what if it does? Thoughts that are hard to ignore and I felt hopeless again.

Without it — I’d not be able to finish my novel, the one thing I can hold onto and the one thing that makes me feel the uttermost happy, next to the love for my family.

Things so far have worked out on that front though — and with Christmas coming up again (and a year marked that I started this blog, and have sadly neglected it with other chaos happening) I know that maybe, just maybe things will begin to look up again — and I will be able to finish my novel, begin publishing videos (permitting I get the camera I asked for!) and start this new life — and start changing mine and my families lives — and then to conquer changing the lives of others.

I am not setting out yet to change the world — of course you have to take small steps, but I am looking to eventually make my mark on it.

I know what I’m going through doesn’t just stop at me. I know that everything I have felt is felt by many — and I want to make it known to others as many are already doing, that you aren’t alone. I’m not quite sure where to begin — but I’m sure I’ll find it. I’ll find my beginning, and my niche in the society of the world, and then I sincerely hope that I can begin my journey to reach out to others and maybe others can reach out to me — for help, or just a chat. 🙂

I’m not looking to become famous in my plans, or to become a celebrity by any means — I’m just looking to help people, and help people I hope to achieve.

Life has been going downhill for many the last few years — things have gotten worse in our world, maybe it’s time for everyone to stand up together and make a stance, take the walk, and change it for all of us. After all, strength is achieved in numbers.

I’m not sure when another post of mine will be posted — but I do hope it will be soon, and for any who read this — if your going through a tough time, and just need to vent or give a shout out — by all means do so. There’s no judging here, and never will be — to judge someone else is to judge yourself and your own faults. Take it from someone who has hit rock bottom and had to either sink — or swim. And I’m still swimming — despite the tide and the rip currents that toss you here and there. I’m still learning about myself and about everything around me.

Until next time dear readers!

Merry Christmas! Happy Solstice, and a very Happy New Year!